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III. Rambling On and On...

Led Zeppelin is better than (almost) everyone because:

They got along.

They called it quits when their drummer died.

They were funnier than most bands; people don't even talk about how tongue in cheek they were. Listen to "The Crunge" or "Black Dog" or "Custard Pie." It's what separates them from all the umpteen bands who tried to emulate them. It's the secret piece to their puzzle.

They did genuinely beautiful acoustic music.

They were a super-group that existed, acted and played like a band.

Their album covers were cool.

Their singer sang beautifully flat just like John Lennon.

There is no Rush, U2, R.E.M or 90's Rock without them.

"Stairway To Heaven" is a monumental piece of work, no matter how many times it gets played on the radio or by some wanna-be guitarist in a music store. It's not "Stairway To Heaven’s" fault it exploded the way it did.

The live Led Zeppelin DVD proves the four of them kicked ass live without a net, assistance or boundaries or rules. When they were on, which was at least half the time, they were the greatest live rock band in the world.

Of all his contemporaries, Led Zeppelin is the only band who outdid Jimi Hendrix. Pete Townshend couldn't pull it off and so willed himself into a seer and songwriter, and Eric Clapton became any number of other things, the best of which was Derek, the worst of which was that druggy guy in the 70's and that Phil Collins-produced guy in the 80's. With "The Rain Song" from The Song Remains The Same movie, Zeppelin take Hendrix to the enth power.

Jimmy Page is my favorite guitarist. He's the one with the most sloppy flair, the most who-gives-a-shit, free-for-all attitude, the most composer-like in his writing, and the most silly in his references. Yes, McCartney, Townshend and Dave Gilmour are all up there, but it is Page I keep coming back to. He had swagger, his tone was balls and all, his phrasing like talking, joking and seducing, his architecture multi-layered and brilliant in design. A pioneer and a joker. Completely serious, utterly ridiculous. Together with Robert Plant, his soul-brother and the perfect mirror to his guitar voice, he created the ultimate Rock and Roll music.

No one else has ever perverted more forms of Rock and Roll music than Led Zeppelin. The Beatles did more pastiche and homage. Zep out and out perverted and bended the existing forms to their own absurd likeness. There is no better send-up/homage to James Brown than "The Crunge." There is no better treatment of Janis Joplin's scary delivery than "Since I've Been Loving You." No better mock-reggae than "D'yer Ma'ker." No better love letter to Joni Mitchell's beauty than "Going To California" or "That's The Way."

They out-did the blues as a whole. They were funkier than their black contemporaries. And they were facile and handy with the pop song as well. In fact, 'pop' music is the genre they most perverted. "Over The Hills And Far Away," "Dancing Days," "The Ocean," "Rock and Roll," "Misty Mountain Hop," "Houses Of The Holy," "Trampled Underfoot," "What Is And What Should Never Be," "Ramble On," on and on... it's astounding. The greatest Rock and Roll band ever.

LED ZEPPELIN I

LED ZEPPELIN II A+ 

LED ZEPPELIN III

LED ZEPPELIN IV A+ 

HOUSES OF THE HOLY A+ 

PHYSICAL GRAFITTI A+ 

PRESENCE

IN THROUGH THE OUT DOOR A- 

CODA B+ 

THE SONG REMAINS THE SAME

HOW THE WEST WAS WON A+

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